Yesterday I traced the muscles of his arm with my fingertips. I started thinking how much I was going to miss his lean muscular body, as I have often done in the last few weeks, obsessing over every enjoyable quality that I love about him. I smiled to myself, quickly changing my thought to how much more I was going to enjoy whatever body Mr. Next would wear, whoever he is, whenever I meet him in the future.
Its been a true pattern for me, that the men I come to care about have all improved on the previous man. This has almost nothing to do with each man’s actual qualities. Rather, it has to do with the increased capacity of my heart and openness of my mind to discover and appreciate a man’s true value and potential.
Mr. Next may not have a better body than Mr. Now, but I know that as a complete package, Mr. Next will be more wonderful, and surely have his own unique physical delights. I once dated a man that was 100% athlete, 0% body fat. I never thought I was going to find a man more physically attractive.
But I did, because as a complete package, Mr. Next had so many qualities that I readily enjoyed. In the beginning, these positive qualities encouraged me get to know him…. Opening my mind to the uniqueness of his character allowed me to discover, accept and appreciate him for who he truly was. Each time I go through this exercise of falling in love, I know my heart gets stronger in affection and understanding. Which is why I know that I will love Mr. Next more than any other man before him, even if he is a lesser man by others’ comparisons.
Knowing this, I ought to be more cautious about who I give my phone number to. While it might seem easier to be more selective up front, I prefer to be as open minded as possible. I’d rather get to know someone, fall in love if it develops, and then rely on my heart’s strength and resilience to grow that love or heal from it.
Since the world is unfolding as it does, bringing improvement and evolution to every situation, I feel confident that every man the universe sends my way has a purpose. He may not be Mr. Right, or even Mr. Right Now. Still, I know he is always Mr. Learn Something New.