For better or worse, my old high school friends and I have been conducting a certain ritual amongst ourselves. It starts with checking each other’s fingers for rings of engagement or (gasp!) wedding bands. The hand check is never very discrete. There’s a tendency for someone to demand that we all put our hands out on the table. Instead, everyone puts their hands in the air, like a stickup and states, “I’m clean!”as if we were checking for stds. Surprisingly, no one in our core group is married. Everyone’s such a good catch, that its always a surprise to me to see some of my friends still un-engaged, or even single. They’re just really good, quality people.
This year, all but one of my guy friends is single. They say all the good girls are either taken or too hard to find. I agree. Where are all the good ones? Probably hiding at home and leading quiet lives. That’s why you rarely meet them in bars and clubs. My personal theory is that all the good ones are stuck in mediocre relationships trying to rescue, help, save, or encourage otherwise unequal partners. This is why I always tell good people that they deserve better, and that the perfect partner is out there looking for you! Because its true.
One friend has been in a long relationship, and still doesn’t see the need to get married. I agree with her angle: there’s too much I want to do before i cross that bridge. My old college roommate seems to be in a blossoming romance. I was sad not to meet her boyfriend this trip. Another dear friend is dating a nice girl whom he feels 80% compatible with, and is wondering and waiting to see if she’ll fill out the other 20%. His relationship and its problems are eerily similar to mine, particularly the challenges of trying to date someone too busy to spend time with you. We joke about whether it’d be a better idea to date each other and maybe our partners would be better suited for an equally busy-body. I joke that they’re so busy that they wouldn’t even notice us going awol.