If I had a million dollars…

10 10 2007

I’d get a hype-man. I’d probably buy him off T.I. or someone local. So they could teach me all the new slang that I never understand until its too late and people are laughing at me. I’d get a big, tough looking one, so he can double as a body guard and keep me from getting trampled. Wouldn’t it be great to have someone to be your personal cheerleader and physically have your back? I could get away with so much…. I wonder if Mr. T. is available? That would be the ultimate. Could you just picture me going around town with Mr. T. in tow? I’d probably have him carry me on his shoulders so I could be up high. And after every sentence I say, he’d be like “yeah. yeah.” in his booming Mr. T. voice. And then when I needed a pick-me-up, he’d get out his pom-poms and do a cheer and cartwheels. I loved those starbucks doubleshot commercials where ” Hank! Hank! Hank! Hank!” had his hype man dress as a mascot version of himself and was doing the worm across the tv screen. That’s one of the best commercials ever. Still cracks me up. But that might be a too ridiculous for Mr. T. to do, although I don’t doubt that he could do the worm, even in retirement. Mr. T. has his own style of pick-me-up. I imagine him giving a pep-talk, like i’m in the corner of a boxing ring… “I pity the fool….”

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