Yellow is for Caution. Yellow is for Sunshine.

2 10 2007

Yellow is the color of my new journal. I start a new journal every time I start a new chapter of my life. Usually, this means a new man has entered my life, and if things go to shit and I have to burn every memento related to him, I won’t have to burn all the innocent journal entries. Its just efficient, and you know how freakishly efficient I like things to be.

So, I was picking out a color my new journal. Hot Pink? Electric Green? Warning Yellow? Yellow is for caution. It seemed appropriate at the time. You know how you meet someone and wonder if they’re too good to be true? You really like them, and you know you ought to be more cautious, you probably should be taking things slower, but you don’t. You just can’t. So I was scribbling about all this ( in much greater detail than you all are privy to) and somehow the caution and skepticism subsided as I realized how amazing this person makes me feel. He could be this or that or too much of this and not enough of that or a million other things that I have yet to discover. But historically, possessing those qualities on my wishlist have had nothing to do with the way a man makes me feel. Those are just things about him. While a person can be viewed as a sum of their attributes, I think there is more to a person who reveals their inner spirit.

He doesn’t see the need to be anyone other than himself. All I ever want is for all people to be real with me. Why waste time getting to know the person you’re pretending to be? I won’t waste your time pretending. Please don’t waste mine. Be as real as you can allow yourself to be revealed to another person…

It started with the laughs he doesn’t hold back, even though he’s the only one who gets it. He’s not hiding the ugly truths when you ask him pointed questions. He’s not afraid to admit that he really wants to see you, even just hours after you’ve parted. He nicknames you Sunshine days before your actual first date and makes your heart melt instantly.

There’s that moment of realization….. You’re looking into each other’s eyes and you can feel that carebear stare emanating from your soul and the rainbow of light gets brighter as it mixes with his beaming soul. And in true carebear fashion, all the dark scary doubts you have about each other just melt away. And even though he still seems too good to be true, there’s no way you can doubt how real your feelings are for him.




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