Be the HOPE

It feels this cold.....Snow on the High Museum Jan 2008

The wind is howling and it is COLD. 20’s, I think.  Many nights I lay myself to bed thinking of those colder and more vulnerable than I.  People experiencing homelessness, who may not have a blanket, let alone shelter. I am in a heated room with one blanket and one down comforter and long sleeved pjs…. and still cold… and feeling ridiculous about it.

So tonight I finally decided to google a way to help.  Check out the Metro Atlanta Task Force for the Homeless for many ways to help.

Here’s the fastest and easiest way!

other easy ways to help are:

1.  Become more aware of your language. Try to minimize language in your own and others’ vocabularies that refers to people experiencing homelessness in derogatory ways. By using expressions such as “people experiencing homelessness” rather than labels such as “bum,” “transient,” or even “the homeless,” we remind ourselves that people who are in such situations are still people first – just people who are going through a difficult period in their lives. In a time when they may find it difficult to hold onto their sense of humanity, it is particularly important that we do not use language that further diminishes the dignity of people in homeless situations.  (http://www.homelesstaskforce.org/advocate.html)

2.  Watch this you tube video

3.  STATISTICS AND MYTHBUSTERS (http://www.homelesstaskforce.org/thefacts.html)

The wealthiest nation on Earth has a wider gap between rich and poor than any other nation.

The fastest growing group of homeless people is children under 9 years of age.

Atlanta is the poorest city in the U.S. for children – more children in Atlanta live in poverty than in any other city.

Current welfare (TANF) benefits are $282 a month for a woman with two children. Could you find an apartment to rent on $282 a month?

Fewer than 20% of those women and children living on welfare get any kind of housing subsidy.

98 million children in the U.S. have no health insurance. Eight million of those children without health insurance live in working families.

Did you know that 40% – 60% of homeless people work?

Minimum wage in Georgia is $5.85 per hour, which yields $12,168 per year, before taxes.

HUD says you should pay no more than 30% of your income for your housing. (30% of minimum wage yields $270/mo. for rent)

The average two-bedroom apartment in Atlanta rents for $834/mo. (which is 30% of an annual income of $33,360 or hourly rate of $16+ per hour). Thus, you need to earn $16+ per hour to afford that apartment, according to HUD.

46% of the jobs with the most growth between 1994 and 2005 pay less than $16,000 a year.

40% of homeless men are veterans.

Be here, Be productive

If you’re going to be here, BE HERE.

I was lecturing myself a day or two ago, buried under my down comforter I refer to as “the cave.”  January was boring, but it was supposed to be boring.  I was supposed to be studying for my interior design exam.  I was supposed to be saving money.  I was supposed to eat less, exercise more.  I was supposed to be productive in all aspects of life.  Not lying under the covers at half past noon.

The 31st of January was my mother’s 59th birthday.   She went to Disney’s Magic Kingdom with my middle sister and grandmother.  I wanted to go.  I would’ve at least liked to go home and visit her.  But I have limited my travel to maximize my goals of saving money and studying.  There are a dozen destinations I am postponing or depriving myself, based on my unrealized commitment to studying.  After squandering vital weekends in January, I am adopting a new mantra.  If you’re going to be here, BE PRODUCTIVE.

How to talk to girls in bars/clubs

Its a simple process of elimination when meeting a stranger.

Round 1:  Must be polite in approach and be able to hold an interesting conversation.  I respect the courage it takes to approach a total stranger and I think it deserves a woman’s attention as long as the man is polite.  It also deserves a polite “No thank you” if necessary, but I think that a woman should at least wait till round 2.  Ask her, “Do you come here alot?”  or “Is it always this crowded/empty at this bar?”  Something general.

Round 2:  Must not be physically repulsive.

Round 3:  Must say or do something to make me crack a smile.   Tell me a funny story.  Compliment my appearance.  Make fun of my height deficiency.

Give a man 5 minutes before you reject him for lack of sparks (both physical and personality).  Polite strangers deserve a respectful and honest rejection.  Can you believe tonight my girlfriends would rather falsely claim to be lesbians than to say no thanks to a guy who was nice enough to offer them a drink?  [rolling eyes in disgust].

September blew by

September 26, 2008

September was supposed to be my time for downtime.  It has been quite the opposite, and the crazy business has made it fly faster than it ought to.  Here’s the quick and dirty:

I moved in with 3 boys

There is no gas in metro Atlanta

My friends are getting laid off

I’ve been working 12 hour days to accomplish a deadline because we are understaffed

I have been dating ALOT to keep my mind off Brandon.  I have been dating ALOT to keep myself unattached, because girls need to juggle at least 3 men to keep them too busy to develop attachments to any single one.

I had to tell a very nice boy that I had no sparks for him.  He had fantastic conversation, incredible politeness, and a great sense of humor.  We even kissed just to make sure, and still no sparks.

I can’t find a suitable date for any of the 4 weddings I have to attend this year.

I rode the furbus during a bachelorette party and had a great time.  I attempted to snag a date for my friend’s wedding, met 2 very cute boys.  One of which gave me a fake phone number.  Sad.  The other talked too much about his ex-girlfriends and how he’s not looking for anything serious.  Too bad that I am… stupid biological clock.

Despite my rational reasonings, I continue to imagine that happiness comes delivered in a Range Rover.  Perhaps its my 2008 version of the knight in shining armor who rides in on a white horse.  Aside from it being a beautiful car, it always makes me think of the dream where I’m picking up my kids from school, opening the backseat doors of the Range Rover as 2 happy kids come running towards me.

More flossing, less fillings

I got a filling at the dentist’s office yesterday.  It’s still a little sensitive now, and the left side of my mouth misses the taste of food.  The most painful part of the experience was paying the bill.  The last time I had a filling was when I was in middle school, and my parents footed the bill.  I will definitely take flossing more seriously now.

Seriously, it did make me think about the thousands of people who have no health or dental insurance, let alone well-trained doctors and dentists as we do here in the U.S.  Can you imagine getting work done without the anesthesia? 

I know that universal healthcare seems too extreme for most Americans, but other countries make it work.  It’ll be tough transitioning, but the economy and our government is capable of the task and hopefully voters will make their intentions clear and the lawmakers we vote into office can focus on getting it done.

Cheating Patience

I understand that the game of life has its ups and downs.  If this were Monopoly, I’d be that broke fool who invested too much in the wrong squares.  A few bucks from bankruptcy, the game has lost all fun, and I’m dying for a “Go to Jail” card.  Quite comfortably, I’d park my silver little pawn in the Jail.  Sitting in time out, safely watching the game of life proceed, protected by the bars of my cell…  Then, when the world was finally on my side, I could come out and play.

Better yet, I’d like to cheat patience by hibernating through all of life’s current frustrations.  Wake me up when enough time has passed to heal my heart, calm my soul, and freshen my outlook.  Life has been so exhausting lately, that I could surely use the beauty sleep.

I blame my biological clock.

He was in the wrong place at the wrong time.  I blame my biological clock.  How else can I explain being so attached to someone not right for me?  He is the first man I could envision myself having children with.  A year ago, I remember laughing to my friends that Brandon was imagining what our kids would look like.  Mentally, I was so far from that. And now its a year later, I’m totally baby-crazy, and I don’t like it one bit.

Yesterday, a Range Rover passed our car and I asked Brandon if we “could get a Range Rover and have babies”.  I had a dream once that I was picking up my two kids from school.  I was parked out front in a beautiful black Range Rover with the other parents, opening the doors to the back seat.  Two little boys come running out to meet me, and I had a big smile on my face too, happy to see them.  Two happy, rambunctious boys that looked alot like Brandon.  When I told Brandon about it, he was intrigued that I was coming around the baby-bend, saying that twins ran in his family. 

I’m not the only one; I know his biological clock is ticking too.  Every now and then he admits to thinking about babies.  Once, he wanted me to put a pillow under my shirt so he could see what I’d look like pregnant.  I definitely declined, unready to see myself in that way.  He even had a dream of us as a family with children.  When I asked how he descibed me to his friends, he said “Lynne is the kind of girl you settle down with and have babies.” 

Maybe I was in the wrong place at the wrong time as well.  Perhaps its too dangerous for two people who care about each other  to have biological clocks that tick so madly.  I have been waiting so long to catch up with all my girlfriends who have been baby crazy for such a long time.  And now the baby craziness is kicking my ass, making it harder for me to let go of Brandon and the hope that we will make a family one day.

Self-Sabotage

The first thing to know about me is that I’m so not ready to be dating people, not matter how much I want to be. I’m here because I’m too impatient for love to find me. Because love is all trial and error anyway. I’m sharing a glass of wine with you because we are both two nice people who are too nice to be sitting home alone.

The second thing to know about me is that I’m naturally inclined to be everything you want in a girl, and if I’m not, I’ll try to be. Not because you asked, but because I like being good at everything, including being your girlfriend.

The third thing you should know about me is that I am going to be perfect for you, and 99.9% of the time, you’re still going to end up not wanting me.

Just thought you should know… everything I that’s been on my mind. Hopefully, my first date with you will be fun enough to keep me from thinking about these three things. Eh, its all trial and error anyway. =)

Best Pizza in Atlanta?

Who has the best pizza in Atlanta? Add your comments!

I went to Fellini’s tonight, and it was one of the best slices they’ve served me in a long time. When I first moved to Atlanta 2 years ago, I liked Fellini’s because it was new and exciting, but also because it felt so comfortable and at home. I couldn’t wait to make this my usual hangout. I live halfway between 2 locations; I winter at Howell Mill and summer in Buckhead because the patio’s monumental fountain does a great job of gurgling away the sounds of peachtree street traffic.

Soon, I’ll live a block from the Fellini’s on Ponce, and then it really will be my late night snack shop. The great thing about Fellini’s is that its open late and open early. You can sleep in and start the day off with pizza or you can be out partying late and starving, and Fellini’s is there for you too (till 2am). Many a good time!

I bring almost everyone from out of town to Fellini’s, because the pizza is fresh and delicious and cheap! But also because Fellini’s caters to every slice of life there is in Atlanta. Sitting at a table, you can look around and see every demographic and clique Atlanta represents. There’s the hip-hop crowd, the emo-kids, the buckhead betties, power suits, muslim women donning headscarfs, GA Tech students, young professionals of every color, black kids with mohawks, white kids with grillz, large hispanic families, church groups… you name it. You’ll even see the occasional Atlanta bum passing on the sidewalk outside.

Fellini

At Fellini’s you can create your own pizza by choosing your toppings to cover either a flat crispy crust or a fluffy thick sicilian crust. Or, you can choose from 5 Fellini’s favorites:

Spinach & Mushroom, Veggie, White Pizza (Mozzarella Cheese, Fresh Garlic, Oregano, Ricotta Cheese) and the ‘Fellini’s Special’ (Pepperoni, Mushrooms, Italian Sausage, Onions, Meatballs, Green Peppers, Black Olives, Green Olives and Extra Cheese). They are all delicious. I rotate between favorites. Currently I’m stuck on the veggie. The veggies are so fresh and crisp, its great. The white pizza is very special. Its good on its own, but sometimes I add fresh tomatoes or broccoli. Menu

I’m not sure that its the BEST pizza place in Atlanta, but overall for quality of food, ambiance, and price, its my current favorite. My second favorite is Vespucci’s on Peachtree Street near the High Museum. They have fun slices, such as broccoli chicken, bbq chicken, meat lovers, etc. They’re mostly a lunch scene, though.

I still haven’t tried SLICE.

Its not often that I don’t enjoy a pizza, but Fritti at Inman Park served up a bland Neapolitan pizza. Of course, americanized pizza is more flavorfully robust than the subtle flavors of Italian pizza. But having sampled my own Neapolitan pizza in its city of origin, Naples, Italy, I have to give 2 thumbs down to the pizza I had a Fritti. Everyone else at my dinner party seemed to be okay with it, but the sausage and peppers pizza was so bland. I will give them credit for having unique toppings, but the calzones looked more appetizing. Fritti means something like “fried” in italian, and their fried appetizer croquets of cheese and rissotto are very good. But I don’t reccomend the pizza.

Waiting for patience

Gasp! New Epiphany!

Sunday I made plans to hang out with my friend Adrian. It seems strange to say goodbye to Brandon one day and the next day hang out with an old boyfriend, but Adrian and I now have an incredible friendship where we love each other for who we are… nothing more, nothing less. We don’t just tolerate each other. We allow and encourage each other to be ourselves. It was a really positive way to spend the day. It reminded me that I eventually “got over” Adrian and all the other boys that came before Brandon.

Yesterday Adrian and I ate at one of our favorite restauants, R. Thomas, ran some errands, watched some YouTube, and looked up words on dictionary.com. He has gotten into the habit of looking up definitions to words he doesn’t completely know, which is a great habit for anyone to get into. Most words will teach you something new or deeper about their definition.

Lying on the couch, I asked him to look up PATIENCE. I suck at being patient, and when I’m not beating myself up about it, I’m probably beating other people up with my frustration while waiting for this, that, or the other. Turns out, patience is not about WAITING. Its about tolerating; preferably “enduring with calmness.” But I’ll stick to the basics: TOLERANCE. Trying to add calmness is an advanced level trick.

pa·tient from the American Heritage Dictionary

(pā’shənt) Pronunciation Key adj. Bearing or enduring pain, difficulty, provocation, or annoyance with calmness. Marked by or exhibiting calm endurance of pain, difficulty, provocation, or annoyance. Tolerant; understanding: an unfailingly patient leader and guide. Persevering; constant: With patient industry, she revived the failing business and made it thrive. Capable of calmly awaiting an outcome or result; not hasty or impulsive. Capable of bearing or enduring pain, difficulty, provocation, or annoyance: “My uncle Toby was a man patient of injuries” (Laurence Sterne).

It was a bit of an epiphany for me, realizing that I had spent my whole life trying to be better at WAITING. Now I know that TOLERANCE is a major part of realizing that inner peace I’ve been longing for. Tolerance means not being so hard on myself, on other people, or things that I feel are unsatisfactory. My tolerance can improve by loosening up and letting go. Becoming more of a “go with the flow person.” Disabling the control freak that rules my life. Remembering that I can’t control everything, and to stop being upset by that fact. Remembering that there are alot of things I can control, and to focus on those and to have fun with it.

I encourage all to look up the definition of the words that challenge your life. I think it will help you focus on how to ovecome its challenge. Let me know how it goes….