More flossing, less fillings

I got a filling at the dentist’s office yesterday.  It’s still a little sensitive now, and the left side of my mouth misses the taste of food.  The most painful part of the experience was paying the bill.  The last time I had a filling was when I was in middle school, and my parents footed the bill.  I will definitely take flossing more seriously now.

Seriously, it did make me think about the thousands of people who have no health or dental insurance, let alone well-trained doctors and dentists as we do here in the U.S.  Can you imagine getting work done without the anesthesia? 

I know that universal healthcare seems too extreme for most Americans, but other countries make it work.  It’ll be tough transitioning, but the economy and our government is capable of the task and hopefully voters will make their intentions clear and the lawmakers we vote into office can focus on getting it done.

Cheating Patience

I understand that the game of life has its ups and downs.  If this were Monopoly, I’d be that broke fool who invested too much in the wrong squares.  A few bucks from bankruptcy, the game has lost all fun, and I’m dying for a “Go to Jail” card.  Quite comfortably, I’d park my silver little pawn in the Jail.  Sitting in time out, safely watching the game of life proceed, protected by the bars of my cell…  Then, when the world was finally on my side, I could come out and play.

Better yet, I’d like to cheat patience by hibernating through all of life’s current frustrations.  Wake me up when enough time has passed to heal my heart, calm my soul, and freshen my outlook.  Life has been so exhausting lately, that I could surely use the beauty sleep.

I blame my biological clock.

He was in the wrong place at the wrong time.  I blame my biological clock.  How else can I explain being so attached to someone not right for me?  He is the first man I could envision myself having children with.  A year ago, I remember laughing to my friends that Brandon was imagining what our kids would look like.  Mentally, I was so far from that. And now its a year later, I’m totally baby-crazy, and I don’t like it one bit.

Yesterday, a Range Rover passed our car and I asked Brandon if we “could get a Range Rover and have babies”.  I had a dream once that I was picking up my two kids from school.  I was parked out front in a beautiful black Range Rover with the other parents, opening the doors to the back seat.  Two little boys come running out to meet me, and I had a big smile on my face too, happy to see them.  Two happy, rambunctious boys that looked alot like Brandon.  When I told Brandon about it, he was intrigued that I was coming around the baby-bend, saying that twins ran in his family. 

I’m not the only one; I know his biological clock is ticking too.  Every now and then he admits to thinking about babies.  Once, he wanted me to put a pillow under my shirt so he could see what I’d look like pregnant.  I definitely declined, unready to see myself in that way.  He even had a dream of us as a family with children.  When I asked how he descibed me to his friends, he said “Lynne is the kind of girl you settle down with and have babies.” 

Maybe I was in the wrong place at the wrong time as well.  Perhaps its too dangerous for two people who care about each other  to have biological clocks that tick so madly.  I have been waiting so long to catch up with all my girlfriends who have been baby crazy for such a long time.  And now the baby craziness is kicking my ass, making it harder for me to let go of Brandon and the hope that we will make a family one day.

Nicknames

Lyn-Lyn before she learned how to smile =) Check out those sexy legs, huh??

I just turned 26, and I am only now just starting to have decent nicknames.  I blame it on the fact that my name is already one-syllable.

Family nicknames from people who supposedly love me:

Lyn-Lyn. Ling-Ling. Lang-Lang. Squirt. Polongpong. Pumpkin. Four-eyes. Skinny. Ning! 

I will forever be Lyn-Lyn to my relatives who have known me since I was a pre-schooler.  Even today, if I called one of their phones, and said I was “Lynne,” they’d have to pause for a clueless minute, forcing me to say “Lyn-Lyn” and then they know exactly who they’re speaking with.

Not so cute names given by people who are supposed to be my friends:

Linnie the pooh. Little Lynne. Lindemere. Short Stuff.  Linn-ey.

How the boys holla.

Gorgeous. Beautiful. Cutie. Shorty. Shawty. or my favorite:  “Hey Girl…”

This year, I’ve finally gotten good nicknames. 

One guy consistently calls me Gorgeous, which is alright by me. 

Brandon calls me Sunshine, which I love!

A friend recently called me Linn-ey, which I used to hate, but I think I’m okay with now.

If you have any suggestions on nicknames, I’d love them…. try to keep the derogatory ones to yourself, though! LOL

Jeremy

Originally blogged 6/6/08

My second full-fledged good day in a row. WooHoo! And it all started with an amazing dream….

The best part of the dream was that I had a new man. I rarely have dreams with mysterious men as my partner. In those dreams, I’ve never remembered their faces, it was always a generic white dude, naturally resembling the shell of my first love. In this dream, he not only has a face, but he has a name!!! My friends are meeting him for the first time, outside a movie theater, and he extends his handshake and nervously says, “Hi, I’m Jeremy.” He speaks slowly, and I can tell that he is genuinely shy at meeting new people. This is so uncharacteristic of the men I date in reality. He extends his hand to my friends, and I am holding his other hand, wanting my friends to see what wonderful things I see in him. He is tall and handsome, clean cut and seems to be the All-American boy. He is not overly attractive, nor overly well-dressed. He has a comfortable style, seems really laid back, has a great smile and an infectious laugh.

So, if anyone knows a Jeremy, I’d like to meet him. Unfortunately, I don’t know anyone by that name nor anyone who looks like what I recall from the dream. I’m thinking of creating a personals ad, just for kicks. http://atlanta.craigslist.org/w4m/709501159.html

Update: I got 4 responses:  3 jeremy’s and 1 Bill. LOL… I never wrote them back because I didn’t expect anyone to reply…maybe I should, although its been a month.  Stay tuned….

I could tell that there were alot of dream sequences bouncing through my mind last night, I can only remember the ones that started and stopped between my smashing of the snooze button…

Tons of my friends made special-guest appearances, which is always a hoot. Between smashing the snooze button, the scenarios changed from bittersweet post-breakup cuddling & conversation with the ex then a scene where I kept locking doors and unlocking doors like that scene from the Matrix with the keymaker. I think the ultimate goal was welcoming my Dad home, like my sisters and I used to do everyday when he came home from work. Picture 3 noisy young daughters running to the driveway every afternoon, followed by a round of hugs and kisses. My co-worker was just commenting on how great it was for his daughter to do this, and how sad he’ll be when she’s too old to care about her old dad. Weird how random events trigger your dreams.

We’re the Planeteers. You can be one too.

I am studying for the LEED Exam. I have 8 days left. I still have over 100 pages left to read before I can even get to the cramming. LEED stands for Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design. Buildings are certified. Professionals who take the exam are accredited. You get to put “LEED AP” after your name as an appellation. Extra stuff after your name is waaay cool.

It looks great on your resume if you’re in the construction industry. Sustainability is totally in right now. Its all over the place in ways I never imagined it could ever be. “Green design” first became a buzz word to me 5 years ago, sitting in Professor Moussatche’s lecture. It seemed so simple at the time. Why wouldn’t people want to design buildings that were good for the environment?

Seemed like the next step up for a former planeteer. I wonder if Captain Planet is still on tv somewhere. He still has a website. The original planeteers are on there still, too. I just looked up the actual running dates of the cartoon, because I’m a nerd who likes to be right about things. Drumroll, please: 1990-1993. Wikipedia also says they’re planning a feature film in 2009. I’m not sure how I feel about that. Eh, Viet and I will probably go see it on opening night. I should start looking for an outfit. Maybe I can score a vintage Captain Planet t-shirt from the thrift shop. I’m a size 8 in little boys t-shirts, as long as my head fits through. People, start helping me look for one, please?

In all seriousness, I’m desparately searching for a planeteer’s ring. You know, “Earth, Fire, Wind, Water, Heart… Go Planet!” Don’t pretend you don’t know.  Watch them in action.  Don’t shake your head at me in disapproval, either. You know you love the Captain Planet song. If only I was savvy enough to get the song included here. Yay! Anyway, I think if I pass this LEED exam, I’m getting a ring for FIRE. Because fire is the coolest. Some of my friends have recently passed the exam…I think we should all get rings. Don’t you? I’m debating whether it should be a cheesy plastic thing, like the kind you used to get from the gumball machine…it’d be totally old school. Do they even have those gumball machines anymore? I don’t think I’ve seen one in forever. OR… I could get a cute ruby ring…its my birthstone anyway. Hmm. We’ll see if I pass, first.

This has already been a haphazard, stayed up too late to make any sense sort of blog, but…. Can I admit this? When I was little I had a crush on Wheeler. Yeah, the fiery redhead. Yes, I know he was a cartoon, but frankly, I thought he was cuter than whatever Disney prince cartoon was out at the time, but never had the guts to argue my case during our cafeteria crush sessions. Besides, Fire is the best power. Second choice would be wind, because the cute blond girl was so perfect for that role. I remember she was gorgeous and delicate and blond, and even though she was a cartoon character, I wanted to be her.

Humor me, which planeteer was your favorite, and/or which one did you want to be? Earth, wind, fire, water, heart? Don’t worry, we won’t judge you if you choose Heart.

I’m clean!

For better or worse, my old high school friends and I have been conducting a certain ritual amongst ourselves. It starts with checking each other’s fingers for rings of engagement or (gasp!) wedding bands. The hand check is never very discrete. There’s a tendency for someone to demand that we all put our hands out on the table. Instead, everyone puts their hands in the air, like a stickup and states, “I’m clean!”as if we were checking for stds. Surprisingly, no one in our core group is married. Everyone’s such a good catch, that its always a surprise to me to see some of my friends still un-engaged, or even single. They’re just really good, quality people.

This year, all but one of my guy friends is single. They say all the good girls are either taken or too hard to find. I agree. Where are all the good ones? Probably hiding at home and leading quiet lives. That’s why you rarely meet them in bars and clubs. My personal theory is that all the good ones are stuck in mediocre relationships trying to rescue, help, save, or encourage otherwise unequal partners. This is why I always tell good people that they deserve better, and that the perfect partner is out there looking for you! Because its true.

One friend has been in a long relationship, and still doesn’t see the need to get married. I agree with her angle: there’s too much I want to do before i cross that bridge. My old college roommate seems to be in a blossoming romance. I was sad not to meet her boyfriend this trip. Another dear friend is dating a nice girl whom he feels 80% compatible with, and is wondering and waiting to see if she’ll fill out the other 20%. His relationship and its problems are eerily similar to mine, particularly the challenges of trying to date someone too busy to spend time with you. We joke about whether it’d be a better idea to date each other and maybe our partners would be better suited for an equally busy-body. I joke that they’re so busy that they wouldn’t even notice us going awol.

Action Plan 2008

New Year’s Resolutions 2008:

1. Books to read: Finish the White Book. Read Beginner’s Guide to Enlightenment. Read a book about reincarnation. Finish the Fountainhead. Read Atlas Shrugged.

2. Get my Interior Design license by taking the NCIDQ exam in April. Not procrastinating the studying part.

3. Get accepted into Georgia Tech and Boston Architectural Center. I’ll decide later whether this is the year to go back to school.

4. Get fluent speaking Spanish. I can read and write muy bueno, pero hablo muy dificil y no rapido.

5. Learn a new language: Mandarin Chineese? The market is exploding! German? Open the doors to Berlin!

6. Decide whether to travel through Southeast Asia with rowdy boys or Motorcycle through Central or South America with Liza.

7. Practice relaxing. Try meditation. Learn to breathe fully.

8. Break a board with my hands, martial arts style. Reach a clarity and focus beyond fear.

9. Eat healthy home cooked meals.

10. Go to the gym. Burn fat. Increase flexibility. Get some upper body strength. Yuck! pushups.

11. Blog consistently and keep things accurately updated.

12. Save and invest my money in long-term and short term accounts.

The Near Future: Before I’m 30 years old in 4 and a half years:

1. Get my interior design license. Get LEED accredited.

2. Graduate with a Masters Degree in Architecture… the only way to grow into management at LAS. Full-time, it would take 3 years.

3. If I started this year, I’d have enough time to get a Masters in Building Construction, too. Awesome for starting my re-development company.

4. Live overseas for 6-12 months, immersed in another culture, if not another language. Studying abroad would be uber efficient.

5. Happily engaged or married…only if I meet the right person. Otherwise, living a fabulously single life of freedom, spontaneity, and adventure.

8th Year Reunion

Class of 2000…that was a long time ago. I’ve known these kids for 10 years, now. Wow.

Today was by far, probably the best day of 2007. It started with brunch at Cracker Barrel. SI showed up late, of course. There was talk of Mr. Folsom’s last day at the high school. We reminisced about legendary pancake days, and SI mentioned that she had found a map to his house when her parents were cleaning out her old bedroom. “We should visit him!” It was a good idea, made better by adventurous counterparts who drove back to SI’s house, found the map, and decided to give Mr. Folsom a call before banging on his front door. I left a voicemail….and he called back. I was too excited and nervous that I passed the phone to SI. and we invited ourselves over. We had perfect timing…the Folsom’s were leaving for a wedding in California the next morning, and would soon be moving to Greenville, South Carolina. It was our last chance to visit, say our thank yous, and show him that we turned out A-okay. We were in the car and at his doorstep in 20 minutes. It felt like the A-team jumping into the van. We spent 2 and a half hours there, reminiscing about high school Physics. Moreover, we reminisced about a group of us girls showing Mr. and Mrs. Folsom how to keep their adopted Chineese baby girls Asian: coming over to his home and cooking stir-fry and eggrolls for he and his wife, teaching them to measure rice with bare hands rather than a measuring cup. Their interest and embracing of the Asian culture was so genuine and humble, that we loved teaching them the unknowns. Chloe is now 8 years old and almost as tall as me. She seems to be an amazing older sister to Emily, who is 15 months old and almost as precious as my God daughter Chee-Chee.

On a roll from contacting the Folsom family, and because we were already deep into “the Burg” known as St. Pete, we tried calling ND and BG. NG had left a voicemail, sounding so upbeat and refreshed, and happy. Not what I expected from an almost doctor busy with her rotations. I didn’t even expect her to be in town. We booked her for drinks that evening. When she arrived, she was more beautiful than I remembered her, beaming with a glow of a happy new relationship. She said it was the worst timing, and I told her that it was probably going to be an important relationship, as the unexpected ones are always the best. I was really happy for her. Their relationship seems so pure.

Then we called BG for the second time, at his parents house. No answer. I left another voicemail, somewhat less embarrassing and giggly than the first one this morning. That one was a disaster. SI and SM made me laugh and I couldn’t control my laughter enough to finish listing my contact number. Looking at the clock, SI said he was probably still at work. So I GooglePhoned his company’s name. Ring.Ring.Ring….

“Hello?” An old man’s voice answered. I started freaking out, thinking that GooglePhone was so accurate that it gave me Charles F. Young’s direct line!

“Is this the Charles F. Young Company?”

“Yes.” the old man replied. I asked for our friend, using his proper legal name, and my friends in the car with me burst into laughter, which of course is contagious to me! Once on the line with him, I told him to meet us at 8:30 tonight. I then apologized for bothering him at work and for the other 2 ridiculous voicemails I left at his parent’s answering machine. All the stalking was worth it, to have him come out tonight. We hadn’t seen each other since I was prepping to backpack Europe in late 2005. We talked business, how some people are natural leaders and great with people, and others aren’t. How it didn’t become apparent till we witnessed co-workers older than us who just didn’t have those essential skills. We talked about how getting an MBA seemed like a good idea, since so many of our friends were doing it, but how an MBA is part of the 10-year plan. The 5 year plan is priority. And since i’m neurotically goal-oriented, I got so excited that I wanted to rush home and remember, re-evaluate, and rewrite my 5 and 10 year plans.

The wonder of Christmas

It is 2:46 AM on Christmas Day. My family and I just returned home from the annual Secret Santa get together with my aunts, uncles, and cousins. Since our family has gotten so huge with my Dad’s side of the family immigrating from the Philippines, we initiated an exchange gift at midnight on Christmas Eve. When we were younger, the grandchildren watched until the clock struck midnight. These days, we’re much older, and the gift exchange starts as soon as the first great-grandchild arrives from her nap, even if its five past midnight. Paula Rochee’ Garcia is bigger than a princess. Chee-Chee, as we call her, is a superstar in terms of baby paparazzi. And she deserves every minute of adoration a 2 year old can manifest through her charm, beauty, perfect behavior, and sheer intelligence. Having been actively raised by her parents, grandparents, and a dozen “aunts and uncles,” she is so well adjusted to strangers and her mind is constantly stimulated by everyone trying to teach her new things. She makes me want to have babies. She is the only child I have met that has even slightly convinced me that having children can truly be a beautiful thing.

On a whole other level, I experienced a distinct heart melting feeling the moment she chose me (a stranger sitting on the floor) and sat in my lap. I was surprised, at first, that she chose me over the 50 other people in the room whom she knew on a daily basis.  Living 8 hours away in Atlanta, I see Chee-Chee only 3 times a year:  Xmas, Thanksgiving, and Independence Day.  There is no way she’d recognize me, which kinda makes me sad to think about how much of her amazing little life I am missing out on.  She sat on my lap for about 15 minutes total.  Sometimes, she’d get up and chase some fancy wrapped package being passed through the room, but then she’d come back.  That surprise of her return felt amazing too.  And when she sat in my lap… it felt natural for her to sit there, all comfortable like she knew what she was doing.  And instead of my usual freaking out, worrying that I’m not doing the right thing to support her, or worrying that she was going to spew/leak/blast some disgusting bodily fluid under my care….it somehow felt natural for her to be there in my lap.  There are no words to describe the connection I felt with her sitting close to me.  It was as if I could feel the vibration of her soul, against mine…. somewhat similar to the momentary tingling sensation I get in my soul when I feel emotionally connected to a man I love.